Here's your Summer Movie Ticket!

Ahhh summer is now upon us. The time for picnics and fishing. The time for enjoying the warm weather oustide. But most importantly it's the time for packing into chilly theaters and watching movies. Lots and lots of movies. However, you don't want to be tricked into paying $18 for a ticket and $23 for a tub of popcorn only to watch a piece of shit slime down a white canvas for 2 hours.

*Enter 3kalb*

"Hi, Lame-0s! My name is 3kalb, and I'm here to tell you what to see. I could tell you what not to see, but there is more crap out then you think and my time is precious. In fact, I'm so busy that I won't even stay and tell you about to watch. So, instead I've prepared this handout that highlights what you easily-led autonomatrons need to see this summer. Enjoy L053R5!"

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

MWAAA HAA HA

• Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Director: George Lucas
Opens: May 19

• Howl's Moving Castle

Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Opens: June 10

• Batman Begins

Director: Christopher Nolan
Opens: June 17

• Land of the Dead

Director: George A. Romero
Opens: June 24

• War of the Worlds

Director: Steven Spielberg
Opens: June 29

• Undead

Director: Michael Spierig & Peter Spierig
Opens: July 1

• November

Director: Greg Harrison
Opens: July 22

• Night Watch

Director: Timar Bekmambetov
Opens: July 29

• Happy Endings

Director: Don Roos
Opens: late July

• Domino

Director: Tony Scott (Writer: Richard Kelly)
Opens: August 12

• The Brothers Grimm

Director: Terry Gilliam
Opens: August 26

• Rize

Director: David LaChapelle
Opens: Summer


Now, Go! Watch!! Enoy!!! Mwaaa Haa Ha