What kind of name is Libbitz?

Ok, gang, so my bud, Au$10, and I have this arrangement where every month I send him an exciting dvd and he sends me some exciting cds. This month I sent him The Ice Storm, directed by the Hulk's Ang Lee. It's a fun and disturbing tale about young Peter Parkers that try to get laid and little Riccis that drop their drawers for little pyros. There's also an adultering Kevin Kline that go about spreading his alien seed in Ripley's lovepatch. Anywho, Au$10 gave me a pretty love note on pink paper and written with red ink that documents his thoughts throughout the film. I have decided to post this. 1) Because it's forkin' hilarious, and Z) because if you have the film you can follow along. It'll be fun, killjoy. DO IT!

Notes on "The Ice Storm" (An Ang lee Film)

- 1:38 -> What's with the Native American music? I thought this was a white person movie!
- 3:04 -> Tobey's so young! Ah, the burgeoning young Spider-Man digs comic books. No surprise.
- 4:18 -> Christina Ricci's young too! How am I supposed to enjoy that scene later when she's only like 12 years old?!?
- 4:52 -> Hold up! It's that gorgeous girl from "Dawson's Creek." But she's a baby too! What a horrible tease this film is!
- 4:53 -> Time for a beer.
- 5:11 -> Does she really know what "existensialism" is?
- 5:48 -> Oooo, The Idiot - I want to read that. Not kidding.
- 6:23 -> BONG!
- 6:43 -> SPIDER BONG!
- 7:25 -> "My astonishing number of sexual conquests..." - that guy's a cock.
- 7:51 -> Kevin Kline's shirt is amazing!
- 8:09 -> It's Tricky Dick! "I am not a crook."
- 8:37 -> Wow, her breasts are large for her age. That, and she hates Nixon. I have a boner now. But why is her name Charles?
- 10:21 -> Sigourney Fever! And the guy who played Satan in "The Stand!"
- 10:56 -> Elijah Wood is a doofus. But he's getting wasted, so good for him.
- 12:51 -> Key party, huh? Swingers, baby...
- 13:54 -> Fascist ... hahaha.
- 16:57 -> "He's a total young Republican." Ok, age or no, Ricci just became my hero.
- 18:00 -> Long hair is creepy. I will not join his religion. Is she actually attracted to him?
- 19:43 -> There's that music again.
- 20:14 -> Elijah Wood is like the stoic Indian. Except he's scared - And he's a white boy.
- 20:54 -> Hot!
- 21:43 -> Cheater!
- 22:41 -> Sigourney's a straight-talking slut. Kevin's a square.
- 25:05 -> Repetitive ice imagrey. Breaking like their family!
- 27:10 -> Elijah hates his dad. Faggot!!
- 28:18 -> Oh, awesome! Sigourney is reading a Phillip Roth book. Not only that, but it's When She Was Good - maybe she's thinking of life before her affair. .. Sweet mise-en-scene.
- 31:29 -> Oh yeah, almost forgot about Tobey.
- 32:39 -> Wha?? Why did Sigourney Weaver just get one of her swear words bleeped out? Am I watching cable TV here?
- 37:00 -> Whoops... sexual tension gone horribly awry.
- 37:70 -> I love how slutty Sigourney is giving Christina a talk on sex and her body.
- 42:07 -> I never want to hear Kevin Kline talk about masturbation again.
- 45:05 -> Haha@Christina'sgrace.com I hope I have me some intelligent/sarcastic children someday.
- 47:10 -> Kevin's chest is that of an ape's.
- 47:44 -> Injun muzak!
- 48:32 -> Tampax product shot.
- 51:00 -> Kevin's lecturing these kids when he's only in the house in the first place for an affair?!? He and Sigourney belong together! (see 37:20)
- 54:35 -> "What sort of name is Libbitz?" Running gag.
- 57:58 -> Oh, I get it! weather forecast -- "The Ice Storm!"
- 1:00:14 -> Key party commotion!
- 1:01:22 -> Do old people really get drunk and have sex with each other like this?
- 1:01:43 -> Holy ballz! Is that Scott Bakula?
- 1:02:06 -> Oh, guess not. Damn...
- 1:04:43 -> Tobey's going for Katie Holmes... yeah. Oh, wait, the douche is there.. and he likes Nixon. He must die.
- 1:12:29 -> Rape her, Tobey! Oh, Lord... I'm sorry. She's dumb, though.
- 1:13:56 -> "How 'bout we take a bath together?" Yes!!
- 1:17:26 -> Uh-oh. I smell death for Elijah...
- 1:19:00 -> It appears he's on a parrallel w/ the army man.
- 1:22:28 -> "Under the covers." Christina's quite the seducer.
- 1:30:36 -> Hot neighbor-on-neighbor action!
- 1:32:39 -> Wow... minuteman! Satan's got no stamina.
- 1:35:30 -> The ice storm is such a cock blocker.
- 1:36:42 -> Uhhhh... is Elijah dead yet?
- 1:37:19 -> Guess not. Frollick!
- 1:38:26 -> Holy crap! This is like "Final Destination." How many different ways can Elijah tempt death?
- 1:38:49 -> Oh. Nevermind.
- 1:41:10 -> WHOOPSIE!
- 1:42:19 -> Man, I love how utterly connected these two families are...

Kevin - Sigoureny
Wifey - Satan
Christina - Elijah
Christina - Little Bro
Kevin - Dead Elijah

- 1:43:10 -> Poor Tobey. All alone.
- 1:45:44 -> Awkward! "Here's your dead son. Oh yeah, I slept with yoru wife. And my daughter saw each of your sons' penises. Oh, hey, did you bang MY wife?"
- 1:47:35 -> Tobey's the only normal one!

Well, there it is gang. Now everyone run out, buy the movie, and enjoy!

Special thanks to DJ Au$10 for this longer-than-life post.