Amateur Ornithologist Extraodinaire

Yesterday morning I awake to a bird squawking in my ear. First it complemented me on the creation of this hallowed blog that you're reading now (aren't you special) then it proceeded to inform of its latest accomplishment, a summer internship at Rolling Stone. Who is this crazy bird with sharp emotional hair and tight pants? Then it dawned on me. THE ELUSIVE PURPLE-SPOTTED AARON! I soon offered it a cookie for its accomplishment, remembering from Ornithology 101 that if preoccupied with food they won't attack. Only thing is this particular Aaron lived 3 1/2 hours away. So, I would have to mail him the cookie. After hours of waiting I finally acquired his address, 666 Satan Ave., South City, 15. Now you may ask yourself why should I send him the cookie if there's no chance of attack from such a great distance. Well, my ignorant friend not only is the Purple-Spotted Aaron a snazzy dresser and a threat to all the cats on the block, but he also has a great memory. Just consider it a bit of insurance for later. Oh, and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Then out of no where he screeched, "NO NUTS!" and disappeared into the afternoon and out of my life. So long Purple-Spotted Aaron